


Scary Stories

by Roen_Finch



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Crack, Gen, No beta we die like archival assistants, Season 1, Yes this is based off of that scene from Shrek 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:54:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25938481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roen_Finch/pseuds/Roen_Finch
Summary: Jon goes looking for a file in Martin's desk and finds a very scary book instead.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	Scary Stories

**Author's Note:**

> So this is based off of that scene in Shrek 2 where Shrek reads Fiona's teenage diary. Just a little crack fic, enjoy!

Jon wandered through the assistant’s shared office, giving a heavy sigh when he found it empty. He needed the files Martin had been working on if he was to finish his recordings for the day, but that  _ incomptetent fool _ kept forgetting to bring them to his office. It would be easier to have Martin find them himself on the sloppy pile he called a desk, but a glance at the clock told Jon all the assistants were likely off at lunch. 

He would have to do this himself then.  _ I actually want to get work done today _ , Jon thought, his face settling in a firm frown. He signed, beginning the monumental task of locating a single file among the chaos. Not finding it on the top of the desk, Jon hesitated before opening the first drawer. It was an invasion of privacy, but Jon was desperate to get back to work. 

The top drawer was a mess of receipts and baubles that didn’t fit on the chaotic desktop. The second drawer was almost tidy, holding only a stack of books. Curious, Jon picked up the books. The top was a phonebook-esque tome titled  _ library science for idiots _ . Next was a tattered old novel that appeared to be in Polish. At the very bottom of the drawer at a small, unlabeled moleskine.

Jon flipped the untitled book open. The first few pages had pretty standard diary entry type writings, musings about his new job and shitty apartment. After that, each page held a variety of swirling and swooping signatures. Jon felt his cheeks slowly begin to heat.

_ Mr. Martin Sims _

_ Martin K Sims _

_ Mr. and Mr. Jonathan Sims _

_ M.K. Sims _

_ Mr. M Sims _

_ Mr. Martin Sims _

Page after page of signatures, each with Jon’s last name. Some were in cursive, others in neat print. Several even had the I’s dotted with hearts. Jon felt his stomach lurch, this new information setting his world spinning. 

_ What the actual hell is Martin think- _

The door into the archives slammed open, disrupting Jon’s train of thought. He startled, looking very much like a cat caught being naughty. Tim stared at him from the doorway, slowly blinking.

“Sorry boss, just forgot my wallet. Are you… okay?” The assistant was beginning to look more and more concerned. Jon calmly slipped the books back into the drawer, trying to regain his composure.

“I am  _ fine _ , Tim. I was just… reading a scary story.” 

Tim grabbed his wallet from his desk, nodding slowly but seeming to accept the excuse. 

“Alright, if you say so. See you after lunch.”

Jon gave a polite wave as Tim left before slinking back to his office, defeated. A scary story indeed... 


End file.
